Relationships are a part of our lives from the time we are born. We enter into a relationship with our parents, our siblings, friends, workers, spouses and so on. Relationships are the connection we have with other people - they can nourish and nurture us. They can be a celebration of life.

However, as we grow older, relationships seem to be a source of disappointment and dissatisfaction. It is true to say that many relationships are out of balance and are at risk but many of these relationships can be long lasting and even happy. What really matters in these relationships is the degree of imbalance. The greater the imbalance, the more unhappiness will result and this can end in a permanent breakdown of the relationship.

Success in relationships comes from both people - it's a matter of wanting the relationship to work and learning the skills necessary to foster healthy relationships. We need to begin by being flexible and understanding of each other's individuality. We need to be able to enjoy our partner's expression of their individuality without feeling threatened. It is also necessary to look at the level of dependence and independence in the relationship. We need to have common interests and goals, but also need to be able to spend time away from our partner, focusing on our own needs.

Further to these points is understanding that any hurt we feel and any unresolved feelings we are holding onto can have a long lasting physical, mental or emotional effect upon us. Therefore we need to be able to express not just our thoughts, beliefs and ideas, but to go further to express our true innermost feelings. We can only express our true feelings through honest and open communication. Communication is the oxygen that feeds our relationships.

How can we communicate effectively to reach the level of understanding and harmony we want in our relationships? Where there is a dispute or conflict in a relationship we need to take a few simple steps to overcome the problem.

These steps are:

1. Accept the conflict without shame or pretending it isn't there. Remember that conflict is normal.
   
2. Try to find out what the situation means to your partner. How does he/she feel about it and why?
   
3. Ask yourself honestly why you are annoyed or irritated by the conflict/argument.
   
4. Adopt a problem solving approach to the situation, on the basis of your mutual acceptance and understanding.
   
5. Try to agree on the next step for taking care of the situation. Get busy on it together, as soon as possible.
   
6. Do what you can to help the other partner to feel stronger, to feel your love, no matter what.
   
7. Be patient. Be willing to take a little time for the solving of your difficulties.
   
8. When the whole situation gets beyond you, get some competent counseling help.

At the International College of Meditation and Healing, we focus on creating or recreating rewarding and fulfilling relationships. We focus on the principle that the family and our community are the life sustaining forces in our world and that we must be an active and contributing member to both, to achieve a balanced and worthwhile life.

Once there is love in our hearts, there is no longer, fear or pain or loss. We can live life to the fullest, in vibrancy, good health, joy and fulfillment. The question we have to ask ourselves is what do I want from my life? How much am I willing to put in, to make my relationship work?

At the International College of Meditation and Healing, we concentrate on strengthening relationships, by teaching the necessary communication skills, and allowing each person to understand each others needs, desires and to set goals for the relationship - to bolster it, so that your relationship is truly a celebration of life!